Is Reliving Trauma Preventing You From Healing?
Most people have endured some form of trauma or emotionally significant event. And many are reliving that experience through mind replays or repeated patterns.
Perhaps you don’t know how to move past it, and you’re tired of people telling you to get over it. You think to yourself, “They just don’t understand.”
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Moving past it might seem impossible, but it’s not. And I am living proof. I lived through multiple childhood and adult traumas, and now have a happy life, free from the emotional triggers of my past.
The first thing I did that made a difference, was to stop reliving my traumas.
What does it mean to relive your trauma?
I thought about and talked about what happened to me constantly. Because I thought if I replayed the memories enough times I would heal. But the opposite occurred.
Then, I obsessed over why these things happened to me, how it affected me, and how it messed up my life.
I re-traumatized myself over and over. I made my emotional injuries worse by my own actions.
Forced to relive trauma
What if your family escaped death from an evil villain? And someone forced you to live in a house that memorialized this villain?
Although you know this to be part of your history, you don’t wan’t to be constantly reminded of the person that traumatized you and your family.
With this constant reminder in your face, would you move past the trauma, or relive it through the in-your-face reminder?
This is why people want to tear down Confederate statues. The statues remind us of a time that most people want to move beyond.
Some might say, “They should just get over it. They weren’t a slave.”
But when our society erects and keeps a statue of the person who fought to keep black people enslaved, it tells the world that we value what they stood for.
And when we memorialize the people that traumatized their families, we re-traumatize them, especially when trauma has been passed down through generations.
There is a place for these statues in history museums, but there is no need to have them in the face of citizens who want equality.
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to
I am a huge advocate of taking responsibility for your life, and cultivating a mindset that says, “Hey! I can handle whatever life throws at me.”
I teach my clients how to cultivate this in their life. And, it is incredibly difficult to rise up when you are surrounded by places, systems, and people that re-traumatize you at every turn.
And yes, it is possible to elevate out of it. But just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should have to. Just because I can work 3 jobs and go to school full time, doesn’t mean I should have to.
Collectively we can do better.
Moving Forward
I’d likely be right where I was fifteen/twenty years ago had I not figured out how to stop reliving my emotional wounds and heal from my past. It was one of my first big steps towards healing.
Doesn’t everyone deserve the best chance to do the same? Can you imagine what we could collectively accomplish if everyone were able to heal their trauma?
It is time for each of us to work towards cultivating a better world. For some, that will mean healing their past so that they can participate fully in their lives and communities. And others will do something different. Every positive step taken by every person creates a ripple that will better our world.
Do you want to take responsibility healing your trauma and emotional wounds?
If so book a Free Step UP call.
Learn more about the Elevation Method here.
See below for a list of resources dedicated to healing our collective traumas around race.
#elevationguide
Check out these resources.
They fight the systems, biases, and laws that perpetuate our black and brown communities reliving trauma.
Organizations that fight for racial justice and fair elections:
The Brennan Center for Justice, The NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Lawyers’ Committee For Civil Rights Under Law, Southern Poverty Law Center
Organizations committed to the fight for fairness:
Color of Change, The National Coalition on Black Civic Participation
Healing and change through storytelling:
Black Mental health Organizations:
Therapy for Black Girls, Therapy for Black Men, Loveland Therapy Fund, National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network’s Mental Health Fund, Black Men Heal, Black Mental Wellness.
Fighting for a fair criminal justice system and alternative incarceration programs:
The Sentencing Project, Esperanza