My Story
I am driving down the highway, when out-of-the-blue, for no reason, I start crying hysterically. The emotions come so fast and hard that I can barely see. My body shakes and convulses and I try to stay on the road.
As long as I can remember, I hid a deep sense of unworthiness beneath a sunny and strong exterior. When people suffered, I struggled, and needed to fix it.
At six, I organized a coop to help a timid boy confront the school bully and take back his life. And during my bartending years, I provided insight that helped people break through walls.
Watch a video performance of this unstable relationship here
In my thirties, I fell into an unstable relationship that activated ALL of my unconscious childhood wounds, fears, and beliefs. Saturated with a desperate need to be heard and understood, my insides swirled into a tornado of insecurity, abandonment, and feeling not enough.
I played tough on the outside, but the internal monsters were coming for dinner.
Breaking through the walls that keep you trapped can be terrifying, but when the monsters bear down, you either break through or get eaten.
I stood up and took responsibility for my life the way I had shown the timid boy so many years earlier.
I leveled up, and things got easier.
A year later, I found myself traveling the country photographing anything and everything related to death: Ghost Bikes, abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and even roadkill. My unconscious mind was trying to tell me something.
A few weeks into the trip, I am driving down the highway, when out-of-the-blue, for no reason, I start crying hysterically. The emotions come so fast and hard that I can barely see. My body shakes and convulses and I try to stay on the road.
This happens over and over, and eventually flashes of memory accompany the emotions.
This was not the first time traumatic memories from the past bubbled up from the depths of my unconscious. And like before, the pieces would eventually come together and I remembered.
I am four-years-old, and my best friend is a Vietnam Vet junkie named Carl. I pop into his house excited to sing songs and tell stories like usual, but he is doubled over, sick and in pain. I try to help. But he tells me to go home, then groans saying he wants something sweet and feels like he’s going to die.
I mishear him.
I run to my house, jump on the counter, open the cabinet in a panic looking for the sugar. Just then, my mom comes in and asks, “Genea, what are you doing?” Through hysterical tears, I try to explain that Carl will die unless I bring him something sweet.
She mishears me.
My mom, thinking Carl is a little boy that lives up the street, sits me down and says, “That boy will not kill himself. He is manipulating you, and you will not bring him food.”
I do as I am told.
A couple nights later, I wake in the middle of the night, knowing something is terribly wrong. I run out of the house, and blast into Carl’s room. He has just overdosed and is barely awake. He takes my hand, looks me in the eye, tells me I am magic, and then dies.
About a year after these memories return, half-way between sleep and consciousness, I relive my four-year-old self deciding that Carl’s death was all my fault. I jolt awake with tears streaming down my face realizing that my need to fix, the notion that it’s always my fault, and my sense of unworthiness were born the day Carl died.
My adaptations to negative experiences created superpowers: empathy, compassion, a desire to help, and the ability to see deeper patterns beneath the surface. Those experiences also created painful wounds.
A desire for healing motivated me to chase anything and everything that might help me feel better. I practiced yoga, received bodywork, did therapy, hypnotherapy, read books, sat ayahuasca ceremonies, did transformational workshops, NLP, Kambo, shamanic healings, meditation, and even walked 500 miles through Spain. Some of the modalities worked and some didn’t.
Twenty-plus years of exploration revealed that the key to getting what you want out of your career and life lies in transforming the subconscious mind.
Today, I utilize a lifetime of experience, teachings from neuroscience, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, coaching trainings, NLP, hypnotherapy, and personal development to help people step feel good inside and outside of work.
Healing my wounds allowed me to command my life and career. It made everything easier. And I got to keep the superpowers!
Now its your turn
Book a Level UP Call
Neuroplasticity
To learn the basics about neuroplasticity and the brain click here.
The Camino de Santiago
To see photos from and read about Genea walking the Camino de Santiago click here.
Meditation
To learn that there is no wrong way to meditate, and what it does to your brain click here.
NLP
To hear from the co-founder of NLP and see how NLP can create instant change click here.