Self Worth: Hold Your Head High, Don’t Look Down
Are you showing the world that you have self worth, or are you projecting something different?
As I lean over the railing at the Grand Central Apple Store, I see a short, older woman standing still in the middle of the main concourse. She stands out because the room is virtually empty. The Tennessee marble floors below hold less than five people due to the New York City COVID shutdown. And I think to myself…
What is the life you have led?
What is the life you have led when you stand in the middle of Grand Central Terminal with your head jutting forward in such an uncomfortable fashion?
Finally, after a few minutes you drop your head to it’s natural state and begin to move forward. You move slowly one foot in front of the other, and then I understand why you looked so uncomfortable moments before.
I notice your head bent to an extreme degree, but it seems natural on you. The back of your neck is so flat, as you look down at the ground, that one could set a glass of water on it. What is the life you have led that the natural state of your head is to look down at the ground with such force? What, who, and how has your self worth been so forcefully stripped from you that you can’t hold your head up without pain?
The woman stops again and raises her head after walking ten feet. The difficulty is obvious as she surveys the space in front of her. A few minutes later she drops her head to it’s natural state and begins to move forward. I picture a bowl of soup resting on the platform of her bent neck.
And I think, what is the life you have you led that prevented you from being proud of who you are? What kind of life caused the distortion that makes it painful to meet another’s eyes or to look forward?
And then I remember…
Many years ago I was walking down the street on my way to the subway, and I could feel the eyes on me as I approached a group of men. My defense in these situations was to always look them in the eye as I passed-show them I am not intimidated. And then I prepared for the inevitable cat call.
The man whose eyes I locked with seconds before surprised me. He didn’t cat call me, but instead he lifted me up, and showed me something about myself. He said to me: “You have beautiful eyes. Hold your head up.”
In this moment, I realized that the moment I passed whomever was on the street, I looked down. A simple gesture trying to become invisible and small. A simple gesture showing the world my lack of self worth.
This moment may seem small, but it caused me to start holding my head high; even when I did not have a strong sense of self worth. Because of this things began to change. This simple gesture caused me to feel a little better, and the cat calls lessened.
This simple moment was one of many that led me to cultivating a strong sense of self worth. My experience walking down the street is very different these days. Now, my eye contact is genuine instead of defensive, and when people speak to me it is usually friendly hellos.
What could have been…
The woman on the concourse of Grand Central could have been 65 or 85. Could that have been my fate if I had not chosen to start holding my head high and cultivating self worth?
Could my fate have been that someone watch me from above as I looked up with great effort to see life in front of me? And then watch me drop my head down because the pain of all I had missed and what was in front of me was too much to bear? Would they watch me only able to take steps in the comfort of my invisibility and the shadow of all that I could have been?
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#elevation guide, self esteem, confidence, self worth