Finding Meaning in Life-Discovering your Values

finding meaning

Apr 20, 2020

Finding meaning in life requires us to discover what is important to us–what our values are. Most of us think we know what is important to us, but it’s likely we have never taken the time to put it into words. In order to discover what will bring meaning into our life, we must define our values.

What is a value?

A value is non tangible, and is important to us. This might be something like: kindness, vitality, balance. (An extensive but by no means complete list of values can be found here)

To define our values we must ask ourselves what non-tangible things are important to me in the areas of: life, career, friendship, etcetera. Our values may differ from one area to another, and some may be more important than others. I urge you to discover at least 5 in each area.

Once you have determined your values, take the time to define evidence for each value. How would you know when you had “kindness” in your life? What would you see, hear, feel, or experience?

These are some of my values, and evidence for said value.

Health

    • meditate daily
    • sleep well
    • have a lot of energy
    • do yoga a few times a week
    • exercise at least 5 times a week
    • feel calm and even
    • eat healthy foods daily

Connection

    • make time to spend with the people I love
    • taking care of myself, so that the time I spend with others is of quality
    • laughing with others
    • have work/life balance
    • reach out to my friends
    • people I love reach out to me

Efficacy/Autonomy/Agency

    • excited about the future
    • feel that I can handle whatever life throws at me
    • willing to try new things, even when they are uncomfortable
    • excited to learn
    • set and accomplish goals
    • a self starter
    •  capable of asking for help when needed
    • feel a sense of accomplishment
    • see results or learn something new from the things I try

Balance

    • have time for the things that are most important to me
    • feel calm and at ease
    • can reorganize my life as needed
    • know when to say no
    • can draw boundaries as needed
    • trust myself to know my limits

I can use this list to examine what I am considering bringing into my life to determine if it will bring meaning. If what you are wanting to add to your life brings you closer to creating the evidence in your list, you can bet it will bring meaning into your life.

Once you lay out your values and evidence, you can the information to determine if something will bring meaning in your life.

You ask yourself questions like: If I do this will it bring me in alignment with my values and support me in getting the evidence I am looking for, or will it steer me away? Is this thing that is in my life moving me closer to having the things that are important to me, or is it moving me away from those things? When you do this you are one step closer to finding meaning in your life.

For Example:

I am offered a job that is going to pay me a LOT of money but it means I have to work 75 to 80 hours a week.  If I look at my values and evidence I can break down whether this job could be something meaningful for me.

  1. In the area of health, this job might take away from my ability to exercise, and eat healthy foods
  2. In the area of connection, this job would take away from the time I had to spend with  the people I love, it might be difficult to maintain work/life balance, and it might be difficult to take care of myself
  3. In the area of efficacy, this job may create excitement about the future because I would have a lot of money, I may be able to learn, accomplish goals, and feel a sense of accomplishment
  4. In the area of balance, I may not have time for things that are most important to me, the job may be stressful and interfere with feeling calm, I may not be able to draw boundaries and the job may push me beyond my limits

Evaluation

We can see that for me, this job is at odds with many of my values and may not support me in finding meaning in my life. It supports my value of efficacy, but it detracts from the other things that are important to me in my life. Now, if wealth were one of my values, this job might bring  meaning to my life. If I taught meditation and yoga, and was able to connect to people I love through this job, it would have much more meaning to me, because I would be experiencing the evidence of having many of my values in my life.

It is important to reevaluate your values from time to time, especially before making a major change in life. We are always evolving, and our values may change. This is completely normal. Being clear on your values gives you the resources to determine the things that will bring you closer to finding meaning to your life.

If you would like to request a Values and Evidence worksheet or you would like to have a conversation about working together please click here.

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